IRS: Hello; This is the IRS helpline. What is your problem?
Obviously, you owe us money or you would not be calling.
CITIZEN: Can you explain why I owe you money?
IRS: Its called taxes.
CITIZEN: Well how much do I owe?
IRS: That is your job to figure it out.
CITIZEN: So I just pay you what I want?
IRS: No. We know exactly how much you owe.
CITIZEN: So why won’t you tell me?
IRS: You have to calculate that number yourself.
CITIZEN: What if I get it wrong?
IRS: You have 20% interest, penalties. We could also
take your home and put you in prison.
CITIZEN: This does not seem fair.
IRS: Blame your mother.
CITIZEN: What does my mother have to do with this?
IRS: It was her job to tell you the truth.
CITIZEN: What is that?
IRS: Life is not fair!